On Saturday I got a copy of GQ magazine — The Body Issue, for February — in the mail, with an announcement from Condé Nast that Details magazine had been closed and they were sending me GQ {for Gentlemen’s Quarterly] for the rest of my Details subscription period. GQ is, like Details, a fashion and lifestyle magazine, tilting towards fashion, while Details tilted towards the lifestyle side, and their target audiences are different: Details for metrosexual straight guys and gay guys (we’re all brothers, and we can learn from each other, or something like that), GQ very much for straight guys, with visible anxiety lest its readers be taken for queers because of their interest in men’s fashion, grooming, and the like.
So the February issue features Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronaldo, maintaining on the cover that he’s the “Nobel Prize Winner for Physical Perfection” and showing him there in nothing but trunks from CR7 Underwear (Ronaldo’s own company) — but pairing him there (and elsewhere in the magazine) with supermodel Alessandra Ambosio (who appears to be topless on the cover). The strategy is to surround a man featured in the magazine because of his physical attractiveness with really hot women hanging on to him, to convey his heterosexuality and so to reassure the readers that it’s safe for them to admire him and identify with him. In the case of Ronaldo, who could be described as a, to put it very gently, serial dater (details to follow), the effort would seem superfluous, but it’s a standard GQ strategy.
In a separate posting, I’ll look at another story from this issue of GQ, rather coyly advertised on the cover:
Super-Size Me! We Have Huge News About Your Manhood
Here I’ll stick to Ronaldo, because there’s a lot to say, going beyond what I wrote about the man in my 8/27/15 posting “On the fashion front”, where there were three photos of him: #2, in a sexy + amiable pose; #3, in a fancy composition advertising his CR7 line; and #4, an unposed shot of him shirtless and sweaty on the soccer field.
Now, in GQ, there are two shots of him without Alessandra Ambrosio, both showing off his remarkable body (oh yes, he has a handsome face, too; smiles a lot; and projects intense energy):
(#1)
(#2)
I’ve reflected several times on this blog that soccer player plus male model (especially underwear model) is a natural pairing — soccer develops a body well suited to commercial display — but these two shots show that Ronaldo has gone way past such development, into some sort of stratospheric cultivation of a muscular swimmer-type body, achievable only by long hard work beyond staying in good shape for playing soccer.
#1 shows the man in those CR7 trunks from the cover, plus a chain/necklace by David Yurman and what is probably a very expensive Tag Heuer watch — Ronaldo lives high — though GQ gives the cost only for the trunks, $27; on the Tag Heuer site, men’s watches run from $1,200 to $8,500, and on the David Yurman site, chains like the one Ronaldo is wearing run from $350 to $1,050.
What’s especially remarkable about #1 is Ronaldo’s lats, like wings made of solid muscle. I don’t think I’ve ever seen lats quite like that on a swimmer-type body.
#2 shows the footballer in colorful CR7 trunks (again, $27; the Nike jacket goes for $85), sitting up a bit, so doing the beginnings of a crunch, which demonstrates that his abs are not just attractive (if you’re into abs), but are in fact masses of rock-hard solid muscle.
Now, getting past that body, I remind you that Ronaldo plays for the Spanish team Real Madrid and the Portuguese national team. He lives mostly in Madrid with his son Cristiano Jr., now 5. Ronaldo has steadfastly refused to identify the boy’s mother or to discuss the circumstances of the child’s birth. He does seem to be devoted to his son, or at least as devoted as a man with his demanding occupations and his lifestyle can be.
Ronaldo is the world’s highest paid footballer; and, by far, the world’s most recognizable athlete (thanks to the immense popularity of soccer worldwide). When you add to his soccer earnings the earnings from CR7 and the huge payments he gets for endorsements of various products, he is an extraordinarily rich man, quite an achievement for someone who was born 2/5/85, so will be 31 10 days from now.
Now, those women he’s dated and his girlfriends (one of whom people thought he was actually going to get around to marrying). The Ronaldo CR7 site lists 18 of them, but since that list was put together there have been several fresh entrants. (The Ronaldo CR7 site is written in very rocky English, with a fair number of misspellings (like Atinkson for Atkinson), so I had to do some fact-checking to put this list together.)
dated Portuguese model Karina Ferro in 2002 (when he was 17); Brazilian supermodel Jordana Jardel in 2003; Portuguese model Merche Romero 2005-06; Portuguese tv and film actress Soraia Chaves in 2006; 18-year-old Mia Judaken in 2006; callgirl or porn star Gemma Storey in 2007; British supermodel Gemma Atkinson in 2007; Portuguese Pop Idol contestant Luciana Abreu in 2007; call girl Tyese Cunningham in 2007; Bollywood actress and supermodel Bipasha Basu in 2007 (2007, when Ronaldo was 22, seems to have been an especially busy year for him); Spanish model Nereida Gallardo in 2008; seen with American celebrity Paris Hilton in 2009; seen with American celebrity Kim Kardashian West in 2010; Welsh model and beauty queen Imogen Thomas in 2010; rumored one-night stand with Brazilian model and tv personality Andressa Urach in 2013; five-year relationship with Russian model and actress Irina Shayk (which looked like a really serious thing at the time); tv reporter Lucia Villalon in 2015
In 2015 came reports of a relationship with 19-year-old Danish model Maja Darving; with 23-year-old Spanish model Claudia Sanchez; and with 24-year-old Marisa Mendes (the daughter of his agent, which at least one sports reporter has described as like “dipping his pen in the company inkwell” — wink wink nudge nudge).
Live hard, play hard, work out hard, spend as much time with the kid as you can (Ronaldo says they are trying to improve their Engish and their Spanish together). Oh, and he’s really close to his mother.
